The Porch Swing

Mom thoughts...

There's a substantial age difference between my oldest child and my youngest - twelve years. Somewhere in that span, as my firstborn has long since completed adolescence and my youngest is in its throes, I think I've developed a sense of humor. Somewhere in there, I've learned there are degrees of disobedience. And somewhere in there, I've begun to recognize many ways the needs of an adolescent differ from those of a child.

To a child, I am a mom who offers limited choices and teaches/delivers consequences for behavior. But as a mom to an adolescent, I have to allow some room for her to prove to herself and to me that what I've taught her about judgment and choices has actually taken root.

As a mom to an adolescent, I've discovered it isn't always necessary to "drive the point home" like I did when she was a child. An adolescent has the ability to actually regret foolish choices that my "driving the point home" turns to shame; I'm learning to recognize when that is present and allow it to stand on its own, knowing that, as an adult in years to come, she will need the ability to feel regret without it being her undoing.

I think our adolescents hear our laughter - hearty laughter - far too seldom and our lectures far too often. I want my eyes to brighten as easily when I see her walk into the room today as they did when she was a child and toddled in.

Father, help us to be ever aware that, as our children move toward adulthood, we have the ability to break their spirits or to strengthen them. Annoint us with the wisdom to be mindful of that throughout the years they're under our care.