The Porch Swing

"When words are many, sin is not absent." ~Proverbs 10:19

I remember hearing long ago that it should be considered a compliment to be discussed because it means you haven't been forgotten. I doubt anyone who's been on the receiving end of being discussed negatively would agree.

About 7 years ago I had a long distance friendship with a woman whose company I enjoyed very much. Our conversations teetered between lively and thoughtful. Thanks to our telephone provider's Friends & Family plan, we had lots of free minutes between us and we spent them easily. As long conversations tend to do, ours would dwindle to "what do you want to talk about next?" topics.

The above scripture proved true as too much time on the phone led into topics about which we had no business delving. Women love to talk. We can say things absent-mindedly - carelessly - as we follow the tide of idle conversation, contributing our part. And I did my share of that. I discovered a disconcerting trend - once a boundary is crossed, it's as if that boundary never existed the next time you talk. Freedom to voice negative opinions in the name of "insight" reigns. We're all too aware of the hurt that type of conversation can wreak on the person about whom it's said, but I was stunned to realize how it can damage the spirits of the parties actually doing the talking. Things at stake...

• Trusting your friend not to say those things about you
• Trusting that others aren't having those same conversations about you
• Feeling comfortable around the person about whom you've spoken ill
• Feeling worthy of someone sharing their confidences with you

The sin devastated our friendship. Try as we might, we'd both been so convicted over our behavior and the trust had been so diminished, we decided it best to let the friendship go.

As I think about it, maybe there was gain tucked inside the loss. I learned lessons I'll never forget and I'm sure she did, too.

Ps 19:14: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."